PAPER: Plastic, I can't believe this! How are you?
PLASTIC: I'm fine. I'm just the same as always.
PAPER: I'm glad to hear that. I was worried. I heard you got
discontinued.
PLASTIC: What? I'm the most popular kind of bag in the industry.
PAPER: Not what I heard.
PLASTIC: Paper, what are you talking about?
PAPER: I heard you're bad for the environment, man. I heard there's like a million of you floating all over the ocean and messing up the ecosystem. Filling up landfills. The word on the street's not good.
PLASTIC: You know what, I don't need this.
PAPER: You don't need what?
PLASTIC: You're jealous. You're jealous of me because I'm more popular in the grocery stores and now you're trying to make me feel bad.
PAPER: I can't believe that's the place you go to. Man, Plastic, you must have serious abandonment issues.
PLASTIC: I do not have abandonment issues.
PAPER: I'm just saying that people are maybe shifting their focus over to me. The paper bag. 'Cause I'm natural. I got a natural
feel to me.
PLASTIC: You have a natural feel because you're made from trees, Paper. They cut down millions of trees every year just to make paper bags like you. You're terrible for the environment.
PAPER: People recycle me.
PLASTIC: Recycle you? Please.
PAPER: Kids love me. They use me to cover their textbooks. Some of them cut me open and draw on me. I get reused everyday.
PLASTIC: Paper, you're not even waterproof -- how handy could you possibly be? I on the other hand have many, many uses. I make a great little trash bag. I'm light and highly portable. I can handle
anything wet or messy.
PAPER: Or stinky. Or...
PLASTIC: I knew you'd bring this up.
PAPER: Poopy. Picking up dog dirt. That's your specialty, man.
PLASTIC: Okay, yes. People do use me for that too. I'm popular.
PAPER: You mean "poop-ular."
PLASTIC: Well, at least I'm not made from living, growing trees!
PAPER: No, you're made from petrochemicals that pollute the air!
CLOTH: Excuse me. Can you make some space you two. I'm expecting Sandra to place some food items in me at any moment.
PAPER: Whoa, man, who are you?
PLASTIC: And who's "Sandra?"
CLOTH: I'm Cloth. And Sandra is my owner.
PAPER: You have an owner? That's so cool!
CLOTH: What can I say? Sandra uses me every time she goes shopping. We have a relationship.
PAPER: Can I... can I touch your fabric?
CLOTH: Sure, go ahead. See those are my fibers. I'm made of organic cotton. Fair trade.
PAPER: Wow.
CLOTH: I know.
PLASTIC: Paper, pull yourself together. Yes,
Cloth looks cooler than we do and okay, he's more durable and, all right, I dream of actually having an owner who I know by name but so what? We're all bags.
CLOTH: The “so what” is this, each cloth bag a person uses will
keep hundreds, even thousands of plastic bags out of the world's
ocean's and landfills.
PAPER: Burn, Plastic!
CLOTH: And save hundreds of trees.
PAPER: Ouch.
CLOTH: Looks like Sandra's loaded me up. French bread, fancy cheese, a bottle of wine. I think Sandra and I are
going on a picnic. Caio you two.
PLASTIC: Hold on... Take me with you. I want to meet Sandra. Wait, don't leave! He left!
PAPER: See now, this is what I was saying about abandonment issues.
PLASTIC: Oh, I wish I were cloth.
PAPER: Me too. Me too. But look on the bright
side, you're gonna get recycled.
PLASTIC: Thanks.
PAPER: To pick up dog poop.
PLASTIC: Thanks a lot.